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Band 4.5

TOPIC: People today spend less and less time interacting with other people in the neighbourhood and this has a negative impact on communities. What are the possible causes and solution to this problem

#topic #people #time #neighbourhood #impact #communities
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TOPIC:
People
Use synonyms
 today spend less and less time interacting with other
people
Use synonyms
 in the neighbourhood and
this
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on communities. What are the possible causes and solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 It is vital to establish rapport
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
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 around us,
however
Linking Words
,
that is
Linking Words
 not the case nowadays. Social interaction is getting lesser and lesser each day which will eventually create
catastrophe
Add an article
a catastrophe
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 in the near future if communities do not see
such
Linking Words
 importance. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to highlight some possible reasons and solutions to
this
Linking Words
 dilemma. One negative impact of modern technology is
people
Use synonyms
 getting glued
into
Change preposition
to
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 devices
such
Linking Words
 as their computers and mobile phones at home. They become reliant to these gadgets because it provides them convenience and comfort in their daily lives.
For example
Linking Words
, it is very easy to order food
on
Change preposition
from
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 one’s favourite restaurant through the internet and having it delivered to their doorsteps.
As a result
Linking Words
, social contact is diminished in
this
Linking Words
 kind of process.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the increasing demands of society, some
people
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 are left with no choice but to work all day long, sometimes taking 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet. Piling water and electricity bills, house mortgages or car loans are some responsibilities
people
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 need to face in order to continue with life.
Consequently
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 routine, there is no time to mingle with others especially with neighbours.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
people
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 fear to go out of their dwellings due to the stigma they may face in the community. The recent “Asian hate crimes” happening around is a very specific example of why
people
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 want to isolate
in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
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 their homes
instead
Linking Words
 of interacting with other
people
Use synonyms
. There
Correct your spelling
may be
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maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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 no ultimate solution to the reasons stated above,
however
Linking Words
, giving importance to social interaction creates a meaningful result
specially
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especially
show examples
 in the community.
For example
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, a simple gesture of inviting neighbours for a good meal or a drink promotes camaraderie and lessens awkwardness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, while we really need our jobs for a living, mingling with
people
Use synonyms
 around us helps in regaining energy from the hustles and bustles of life. When communities are not socially active and engaged, satisfaction is not present and progress is hampered.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
people
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 interact with one another, it fosters openness which will
subsequently
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 lead to a better and liveable community.
Submitted by Kate21 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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