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Band 5.5

Some people propose that smoking should be banned completely instead of only in public areas. What is your opinion?

#people #areas
In the competitive era,
people
 are engaged in graveyards shifts to lead ameliorated and exotic lifestyles, under which they find it arduous to extract time for their healthy
life
.
Hence
,
Somking
Correct your spelling
Smoking
 is injurious to health so numerous folklore
opion
Correct your spelling
option
opinion
 that it should be banned not in most crowded places it totally prohibited everywhere . I have some reservations idea in my mind I will discuss all in
posterior
Add an article
the posterior
a posterior
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 paragraph. Admittedly, consuming
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tobacco or other harmful things are not fine for
a
Remove the article
apply
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health it should be totally prohibited by higher authorities. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 some reason behind that, it is
effect
Add an article
the effect
an effect
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 on the lungs, kidneys or
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
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 of the body because inhaling the smoke is very bad. Smoking not only
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 the
smokers
Change to a genitive case
smoker's
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 body but it has
also
 harmful for
Add an article
the non
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non smoker
Add a hyphen
non-smoker
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 when
non smoker
Add a hyphen
non-smoker
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inhale
Change the verb form
inhales
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 the smoke
then
 occur
the
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apply
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numerous predicaments in their health.
For example
, 80% of the young ones smoking
for
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apply
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only flaunt their exotic lifestyle in front of the others.
Furthermore
, cigarette
have
Change the verb form
has
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occurring
Change the verb form
occurred
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the
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apply
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blood cancer, asthma or mammoth kind of impediments for common individuals. It
also
effect
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effects
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 on the environment because in modern time air are most polluted due to smoking, pollution and toxic.
However
, in past
people
 were living there
life
 was very smooth and less in stress or strain but nowadays
people
's
life
 was in tension burden or more responsibilities
then
 they prefer to consume something like that which they feel relaxed and work
like
Replace the word
as
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 a stress buster but they never know their results are very harmful. To conclude, according to my opinion, smoking should be banned
in
Change preposition
apply
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everywhere because if it should be prohibited
then
people
 living their
life
 cheerfully.
Submitted by varinder on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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