In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree?

Tuition
fees
for tertiary
education
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject fees. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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so expensive that many students struggle to raise
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. Some people believe that university
education
should not be charged. I completely agree with
this
statement mainly because it brings equality among learners and
secondly
they can focus on learning only.
To begin
with,
noone
Correct your spelling
no one
none

The word noone is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

will fail to attend college because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of resources.
In other words
, everyone has an opportunity to attend tertiary
education
whether he\ she is poor or rich.
This
gives equal chances to anyone who has good grades ,despite their personal background. Large sums of tuition
fees
deter less
priviledged
Correct your spelling
privileged

The word priviledged is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

individuals
the
Change preposition
from the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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right to obtain a degree because they cannot afford it.
For example
., my cousin failed to attend university
education
because his parents could not pay for him,
eventhough
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even though

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he passed high school with flying colours.
Hence
, removing payments allows
such
people to achieve their dreams.
Furthermore
, students will focus on their studies more.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction because. Consider removing the comma.

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they will not have to work to provide for themselves and even to pay their debts. When parents spent all their money paying for yo tuition
fees
that means they will not have enough money to cater for other needs,
therefore
a lot of college students will end up working.
For instance
, during my university studies, I worked
night
Add an article
the night

The noun phrase night shift seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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shift at a coffee shop ,
consquently
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consequently

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, I was always tired and
this
affected my grades badly. So, if learners stop working they will have good results and become
well informed
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well-informed

It appears that well informed is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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employees. To conclude, exorbitant college
fees
cripples
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cripple

The verb cripples does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a number of disadvantaged members of society who will fail to attend or have to do some piece jobs while they are learning. I strongly agree that tertiary
education
should be free of charge as everyone will be able to acquire a degree and better results will be
procuded
Correct your spelling
produced

The word procuded is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

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