IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some People believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #interest
The majority of the society argue that youth needs to focus on every book taught in the school whereas some of them have a different approach to it, targeting the favourite subject is what they think is ultimately the best option a student can have for a better perspective. The following paragraph will exaggerate the propitious aspect of the aforementioned text and
thus
 will lead to a plausible conclusion.
To begin
 with, young children concentrating on all subjects in the class will surely have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 eventual as they will be able to gain the information in all sections and can implement in their own life .
Moreover
, they will able to clear their mindset in which field they want to pursue their imminent and will have a clear approach. Case in point, a student who is in high school and is exceptional in medical can make a thought of going in medicine for the planned. To elaborate
further
, a famous magazine in New York Times surveyed that teenagers concentrating in all sections have a clean image of what to become and how to become. Paradoxically, on the other side of the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fence an opposing case can be made as another per cent of the population believe that approaching the part in which the children have an interest makes things easy for those young guns. The way to a great impending is through the field the student has an interest in,
such
 as the kid having an interest in music and is a great pianist can throw his all hard work in that section. Leading forthcoming with the activity you love can make whole life no regrets and more meaningful. To recapitulate, after having a tsunami of thoughts and deliberations with myself, I hereby conclude that, Albeit, getting an education is what matters at the end of the day as without information no one can survive in
this
 developing world. In my opinion, I believe that going with passion is a great option as there will be no regrets in the afterlife.
Submitted by himanshukhatkar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: