Companies spend millions each year on advertising online,in magazines and on billboards. These adverts can encourage people to buy goods that they do not really need. What are the positive and negative affects of consumerism?

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Nowadays,advertisement has increasingly become popular. A huge amount of money is spent annually by organizations on advertising online,on newspaper and

billboards

Change preposition

on billboards

show examples

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

individuals

purchase products

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

of little necessity to them.

This

essay will discuss the benefit as well as the drawback it has on end buyers. The major merit of buying products displayed on the internet or in

newspaper

Add an article

the newspaper

a newspaper

show examples

is having fashion wears for different occasions.

These

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

Change the verb form

are

show examples

because a lot of

individuals

have a planned schedule of various events for each day of the week.

For instance

, a friend of mine that works in the bank have a wardrobe full of various types of clothes.

These

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

enables

Change the verb form

enable

show examples

her

look

Add the particle

to look

show examples

smarter and corporate more than her colleagues.

Furthermore

individuals

need information and education about how certain drugs would be essential for their body.

For example

, as a doctor some medications would improve the immune system of the

individuals

,constant advert placement would enable people to be aware.

However

,spending more than budget is a demerit of shopping online.

Individuals

have little or no savings for emergency situations.

In addition

,items displayed on some website are different from what is delivered to customers and

this

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

creates a bad image for

such

establishments.Due to

this

individuals

would prefer to visit a physical store that they would walk into and pick up whatever they want to buy. In conclusion,

although

the disadvantage of buying goods advertised for consumers is that

individuals

receive substandard items and the benefits of online shopping is that

individuals

have varieties of attire.

Submitted by ladeladi on Tue Apr 06 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Companies spend millions each year on advertising online,in magazines and on billboards. These adverts can encourage people to buy goods that they do not really need. What are the positive and negative affects of consumerism?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?