IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people think having enough money brings happiness but others think too much money can bring problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #happiness
In the contemporary , world merits and discussions pertaining to the refund is one of the crucial, controversial topics among the community. The vast majority of individuals gravitate towards rich and power considering it is the most important matter in life, while others disapprove and claim that capital is not as vital as family and relationship. I support both of these ideas and each of them will be delved into in-depth. To commence with, I support the initial phenomenon that property makes a person delighted. We have to take into account that money is a part of our life and no one doubts that a refund is required everywhere.
Moreover
, the usage of buck is growing widely in all walks of life. Because of
this
, lots of the population aspire to have a lot of funds as it assists to realize the dreams. Scientists assist that people are more satisfied and overjoyed when they have enough wealth. These explanations directly prove that cash has a significant role in the long run.
However
,
on the other hand
, having much money has detrimental ramifications too.
For example
, a lot of human beings are dependent on refunds. Even though, it is becoming impossible to survive without having any currency. Numerous populations spend their time in an expectation of their wages every month. A survey conducted by "BBC News" has revealed that 55% of populations who have unpaid credits or other problems with payments tend to commit suicide. Considering these situations, we come to a decision that dollars adversely affect people. From my personal perspective, we have to threaten the currency neutrally. It is important to earn money to live, but
also
 individuals do not have to pay the main attention to the cash. To conclude,  the cash is either makes people blessed or depressed.
Submitted by aidanadana00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!