Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while other would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
argue that the prime object of
prison
is punishment while others say the main motive is rehabilitation.
This
essay agrees that the reason for
prison
is punishment.
This
essay will discuss both points of view On one hand , rehabilitation is
a
Correct article usage
the

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action of restoring someone from former privileges. Some
people
are sentenced to jail for their whole life while others, serving the time of their punishment for minor crimes.
For instance
, a
twenty - three-year-old
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twenty-three-year-old

It appears that twenty three-year-old is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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woman who was previously jailed for shoplifting, was caught by security at the showroom trying to shoplift a Rolex watch .
This
proves that
prison
is not the best option to rehabilitate themself
On the other hand
, there are
people
present in the society who has committed
hideous
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a hideous

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crime
such
as rape , murder, child abuse,
asulting
Correct your spelling
resulting

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etc. These criminals should not be released from jail because they will try to commit
such
crimes again and
prison
will just be a vacation for them . To illustrate , a twenty-year-old local gangster who has committed various dangaoures crime has been to jail several times but
still
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,still

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it does not stop him from going on the wrong path or repeating the same felony.
However
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government

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should punish
this
criminal it will not make society safe but
also
create an example for the youngsters about the consequences of going on a wrong path In conclusion, Some
people
deserve a
second
chance and
prison
can be rehabilitation for them. ,
However
Add a comma
,However

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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I believe that the key agenda of
prison
should be punishing
people
for the dangerous crime they have committed

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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