IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while other would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #prison #rehabilitation #role
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Some
people
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 argue that the prime object of
prison
Use synonyms
 is punishment while others say the main motive is rehabilitation.
This
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 essay agrees that the reason for
prison
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 is punishment.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view On one hand , rehabilitation is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 action of restoring someone from former privileges. Some
people
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 are sentenced to jail for their whole life while others, serving the time of their punishment for minor crimes.
For instance
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, a
twenty - three-year-old
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twenty-three-year-old
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 woman who was previously jailed for shoplifting, was caught by security at the showroom trying to shoplift a Rolex watch .
This
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 proves that
prison
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 is not the best option to rehabilitate themself
On the other hand
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, there are
people
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 present in the society who has committed
hideous
Add an article
a hideous
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 crime
such
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 as rape , murder, child abuse,
asulting
Correct your spelling
resulting
 etc. These criminals should not be released from jail because they will try to commit
such
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 crimes again and
prison
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 will just be a vacation for them . To illustrate , a twenty-year-old local gangster who has committed various dangaoures crime has been to jail several times but
still
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,still
show examples
 it does not stop him from going on the wrong path or repeating the same felony.
However
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, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should punish
this
Linking Words
 criminal it will not make society safe but
also
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 create an example for the youngsters about the consequences of going on a wrong path In conclusion, Some
people
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 deserve a
second
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 chance and
prison
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 can be rehabilitation for them. ,
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However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I believe that the key agenda of
prison
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 should be punishing
people
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 for the dangerous crime they have committed
Submitted by ayesha221199 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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