Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others believe that money and appearance are more important. Discuss both view and give your own opinion?
There are several factors are determined successful
life
. It is argued that money and physical appearance are crucial
reason Add an article
the crucial
a crucial
of
affecting success in Change preposition
apply
life
, while I claim that people
reach the peak of their career when they work hard and have determination
.
On the one hand, there are serveral
reasons why to Correct your spelling
several
finace
and physical appearance Correct your spelling
finance
are
crucial contributors to success in Change the verb form
is
life
. First
of all, people
can achieve their goal when they have a great deal of money. For example
, money not only can make people
have countless oppotunities
but Correct your spelling
opportunities
also
being well-known people
in community
that they desired. Add an article
the community
Secondly
, having impressive
appearance Correct article usage
an impressive
also
get advantages in the career, especially in social
and fashion industries. Correct article usage
the social
For instance
, there is a survey has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
showed
that Change the verb form
shown
people
who having
good-looking are easy to get a better job and being outstanding in the job interview.
Change the form of the verb
have
On the other hand
, the world is crule
that it is not everyone can be fortune owning strong finance background. To achieve Correct your spelling
cruel
life
accomplishments, diligence and determination
are the essential factors in life
. For example
, students study hard at home and school in order to gain a good score in the formal exam for have
a chance to Change the verb form
having
enroll
outstanding university. Change the spelling
enrol
Futhermore
, the Correct your spelling
Furthermore
determination
given
Add the auxiliary verb
gave
has given
people
to reach a long term goal. For example
, espacially
Correct your spelling
especially
people
who have a dream, the
Correct article usage
apply
determination
is a fundimental
key for Correct your spelling
fundamental
people
overcome
Fix the infinitive
to overcome
the
difficulties to achieve the ends.
In conclusion, while wealth and physical are one of Correct article usage
apply
important
elements of Correct article usage
the important
successful
Add an article
a successful
life
, I believe that deiligence
and Correct your spelling
diligence
determination
would be the cornerstone of the
Correct article usage
apply
life
acommplishment
.Correct your spelling
accomplishment
accomplishments
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite