Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others believe that money and appearance are more important. Discuss both view and give your own opinion?

#people #success #life #work #determination #money #appearance

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There are several factors are determined successful

life

Use synonyms

. It is argued that money and physical appearance are

crucial

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the crucial

a crucial

show examples

reason

Change preposition

apply

show examples

affecting success in

life

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, while I claim that

people

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reach the peak of their career when they work hard and have

determination

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. On the one hand, there are

serveral

Correct your spelling

several

reasons why to

finace

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finance

and physical appearance

are

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show examples

crucial contributors to success in

life

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all,

people

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can achieve their goal when they have a great deal of money.

For example

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, money not only can make

people

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have countless

oppotunities

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opportunities

but

also

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being well-known

people

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community

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the community

show examples

that they desired.

Secondly

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, having

impressive

Correct article usage

an impressive

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appearance

also

Linking Words

get advantages in the career, especially in

social

Correct article usage

the social

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and fashion industries.

For instance

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, there is a survey

has

Correct pronoun usage

that has

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showed

Change the verb form

shown

show examples

that

people

Use synonyms

who

having

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have

show examples

good-looking are easy to get a better job and being outstanding in the job interview.

On the other hand

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, the world is

crule

Correct your spelling

cruel

that it is not everyone can be fortune owning strong finance background. To achieve

life

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accomplishments, diligence and

determination

Use synonyms

are the essential factors in

life

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For example

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, students study hard at home and school in order to gain a good score in the formal exam for

have

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having

show examples

a chance to

enroll

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enrol

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outstanding university.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

, the

determination

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given

Add the auxiliary verb

gave

has given

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to reach a long term goal.

For example

Linking Words

espacially

Correct your spelling

especially

people

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who have a dream,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

determination

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is a

fundimental

Correct your spelling

fundamental

key for

people

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overcome

Fix the infinitive

to overcome

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

difficulties to achieve the ends. In conclusion, while wealth and physical are one of

important

Correct article usage

the important

show examples

elements of

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

life

Use synonyms

, I believe that

deiligence

Correct your spelling

diligence

and

determination

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would be the cornerstone of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

acommplishment

Correct your spelling

accomplishment

accomplishments

Submitted by janetchen1908 on Fri Apr 09 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others believe that money and appearance are more important. Discuss both view and give your own opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people believe that in a city,the best way to travel is by car,while other people argue that bicycle are a better way of travelling in city. discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge, in the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. do you agree or disagree?

Handwriting today is less formal than it was in the past. What are the causes of this change? Is it a positive or negative development?

You are moving out of your rental apartment. Write a letter to your neighbour to say goodbye. In your letter say 1. when and where do you move? 2. why do you move out? 3. how do you feel about it?

Robots and artificial intelligence one being develop to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?