Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#medicine #people #elders #development

The elderly population of the world are increasing and anticipated to go beyond the young generation because of advanced medicine which is available in the market. There can be

myriad

Correct article usage

a myriad

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pros and cons

as a result

this

phenomenon. Biotechnology and robotics are spearheading medical improvements at present. To being with, most of the critical illnesses to which the

elders

are at risk of being exposed

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have early detection mechanism and medicine so that the catastrophic results can be avoided.

Secondly

, it gives them to live and enjoy retirement life with their children with peace.

In addition

this

, the families of the

elders

don't have to get

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

uncessassary debts to save their

elders

Finally

, these improvements help a neo family unit to have a smooth work-life balance at home. The increase of the elderly community can challenge the progression of young adults in many ways.

Firstly

, when they live longer ends up extending their retirement.

For example

, the government sector which allows a person to work as long as they deem fit will see an increase

Change preposition

show examples

the elderly carder.

Furthermore

this

will block career advancement and

also

the new creative ways of thinking from coming into the workplace which can disturb the existent of some companies.

Moreover

, due to these ,instances the relationship and the camaraderie of

elders

and young will be lost without a doubt. In conclusion, even though there can be advantages which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

good for the retirement life of

elders

the drawbacks and the effects it will have on the future of young people can be devastating and it outweighs the advantages clearly.

Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on Fri Apr 09 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
geriatric population
intergenerational
volunteering
medical advancements
economic contribution
cultural perspective
healthcare expenditures
age-friendly
ageism
public policies
demographic shifts
economic stability

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Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The picture shows coffee bean production. Summarise the information and give comparison when necessary.

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.