IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? and is it positive or negative development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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The issues of whether spending long hours at
work
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 has a negative impact on human in any aspect have been raising debates. Some might say that
this
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 trend can lead to many detrimental effects
such
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 as physical health deterioration and suicide commitment.
On the contrary
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, others insist on the view that earning more is what they receive from spending more
time
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 at
work
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. Standing from general viewpoints, I agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
To begin
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 with, working overtime at a high frequency for a long
time
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 can be seen as the main reason for many adults to have
physical
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the physical
a physical
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 disease and commit suicide.
First
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 of all, working adults nowadays tend to spend all of their
time
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 sitting and staring at the computer screen,
as a result
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, they are susceptible to illnesses relating to eyes and posture.
Secondly
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, working without having sufficient leisure
time
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 can cause people to suffer from mental illnesses like anti-social or stress. As a consequence, they are prone to kill themselves due to their emotional instability.
Finally
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, working without having sufficient
time
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 to interact with reality can make individuals degrade their communication skill since they do not often engage in verbal communication.
On the other hand
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, others claim that money is the main motivation that compelled them to
work
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 more due to the fact that they need to pay for their living.
However
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, money can not afford individuals happiness and healthiness. Once you have sacrificed your
time
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 and money to earn more, you can not pay the doctors or psychologists to bring you back in
time
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 when you were healthy and happy. In conclusion, it is indisputable to say that sacrificing more
time
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 for
work
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 can exert adverse effects on humanity.
Submitted by nguyenhoangbaochau870 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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