IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
it is argued that taken in
volunteer
 charity by an adolescent can bring many advantages to themselves and society as well. I agree which the young generation involve in
volunteer
 to training attitudes themselves and reduces the government's burden at the same time. As we know as the young generation needs to be trained in their growth journey, so giving a serious, challenging
work
such
 as
volunteer
 activities, it's can improve the teenager's attitudes regard to the
work
.
On the other hand
, the teenager
also
 can trigger the power and capability that seems may be hidden.
For example
, in
volunteer
work
, young people are deal with difficulty frequently,
however
, they need to focus and patient to delve and solve it, from that, they will gain a special and unforgettable experience during
work
. despite the community,
work
 can share by adolescents,
nonetheless
, the unpaid
work
 of the government face will become less. Due to the government need focus on their political and economic issue every day.
Nevertheless
, the burden should be rise up if the
volunteer
 community add on to the states, on the other words, both of important affair will failure implement because of distracted by states.
For instance
, Blood donation, one of the periodical events often joined by a
volunteer
 with others professionals’ physicians
work
 together, to increase the
work
 efficiency over the working periods. To conclude, the teenagers can take benefit in
join
Change the form of the verb
joining
show examples
 the
volunteer
 community to shows that the ability on themselves to achieve their personal goals meanwhile, the states will more pay attention to their crucial roles.
Submitted by iehuang0912 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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