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Band 5

It is often said that government spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife,while there are other problems that are more important.do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #projects #wildlife
Even though some people opine that the ruling body spends a lot of money on wildlife preservation,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that
those money
Change the determiner
that money
show examples
 could be used in other matters which are more important. I disagree with
this
 because
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
show examples
 of wild living creatures could help us to live in harmony for now and in future.
To begin
 with, creatures living in the forest have a vital role in our ecosystem because it helps to stabilize and maintain the food cycle which includes human beings as well.
Therefore
,
projects
 related to
such
 topics are as important as other topics which
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be taken very seriously by the government.
Secondly
,
such
projects
 could aid plants as well which has a crucial role in the food chain.
Hence
, initiatives for the well being of animals as well as plants are equally important as other
projects
 to make the world a better place to live in.
In addition
, protecting
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
 could save a lot of endangered animals, plants and birds from extinction as they
also
 play an important task in the food chain. There are a wide variety
species
Change preposition
of species
show examples
vanished
Correct pronoun usage
that vanished
show examples
 from the earth due to the exploitation of resources by human beings. Initiatives to improve the condition could redeem the surroundings back to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 original shape.
For example
, Pandas in China were an endangered
species
 before,
however
,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 numbers are rapidly increasing due to the collective effort by the Wildlife Organisation.
This
 in turn helped other plant
species
 and animals to come back to their life. To conclude, in my opinion, I disagree with
this
 even though some people believe that spending
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
 types of
projects
 are meaningless.
In addition
,
such
 initiatives have to be implemented all over the world to improve and bring back the endangered
species
back
Delete extra word
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by Ashith on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wildlife conservation
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Human welfare
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Resource allocation
  • Cost-benefit analysis
  • Non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
  • Ecotourism
  • Sustainable development
  • Preservation
  • Endangered species
  • Habitat destruction
  • Climate change
  • Environmental stewardship
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