Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

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More and more celebrities involve in global aid associations to promote public awareness on various issues, but some

people

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oppose

such

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action with concerns. My view leans more in the direction that the pros of famous icons' action outweigh the drawbacks. There are two

mainly

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main

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advantages of famous icon's support.

Firstly

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, singers and movie stars have

huge

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a huge

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impact on

numerious

Correct your spelling

numerous

communities.

For instance

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, with the help of social media, the interviews and speeches of the celebrities could raise public awareness towards erasing poverty and crime.

In particular

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, the government can allocate more resources to tackle the problem efficiently when issues are exposed to

the

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apply

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society.

Secondly

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, the influencers' attitude and movement on

the

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apply

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international affairs would encourage their fans to make contributions.

In other words

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, fans would join the league and show their support both mentally and financially to help the groups in need.

However

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, some

people

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opine that the drawbacks of celebrities' involvement for a couple of reasons. On the one hand, the public cares more about

personal

Correct article usage

the personal

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affairs of the idols.

For example

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, fans may pay more attention

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the love story rather than making efforts towards public events.

One

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show examples

the other hand, it could increase the cost for aid groups to find a celebrity as their

publist

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publicist

, where the money could be used to buy food for poor

people

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and

impove

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improve

the facilities for communities. In conclusion, I believe the overall advantages of famous

people

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's attending in international affairs outweigh the drawbacks and only a plethora of individuals become aware of the problems can the issues be resolved appropriately and efficiently.

Submitted by leo7wong on Sun Apr 11 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorse
international aid organizations
public awareness
amplify
advocacy
systemic change
oversimplification
trivialization
undermining
severity
misinformed advocacy
distorts
hamper
guided by experts
constructive
strategically

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Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults? To what expand do you agree or disagree?

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the rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communiaction outweigh the disadvantages

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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?