Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

More and more celebrities involve in global aid associations to promote public awareness on various issues, but some

people

oppose

such

action with concerns. My view leans more in the direction that the pros of famous icons' action outweigh the drawbacks. There are two

mainly

Replace the word

main

show examples

advantages of famous icon's support.

Firstly

, singers and movie stars have

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

impact on

numerious

Correct your spelling

numerous

communities.

For instance

, with the help of social media, the interviews and speeches of the celebrities could raise public awareness towards erasing poverty and crime.

In particular

, the government can allocate more resources to tackle the problem efficiently when issues are exposed to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Secondly

, the influencers' attitude and movement on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international affairs would encourage their fans to make contributions.

In other words

, fans would join the league and show their support both mentally and financially to help the groups in need.

However

, some

people

opine that the drawbacks of celebrities' involvement for a couple of reasons. On the one hand, the public cares more about

personal

Correct article usage

the personal

show examples

affairs of the idols.

For example

, fans may pay more attention

Change the preposition

show examples

the love story rather than making efforts towards public events.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the other hand, it could increase the cost for aid groups to find a celebrity as their

publist

Correct your spelling

publicist

, where the money could be used to buy food for poor

people

and

impove

Correct your spelling

improve

the facilities for communities. In conclusion, I believe the overall advantages of famous

people

's attending in international affairs outweigh the drawbacks and only a plethora of individuals become aware of the problems can the issues be resolved appropriately and efficiently.

Submitted by leo7wong on Sun Apr 11 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorse
international aid organizations
public awareness
amplify
advocacy
systemic change
oversimplification
trivialization
undermining
severity
misinformed advocacy
distorts
hamper
guided by experts
constructive
strategically

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Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

With the rise of e-books, come the decline in paper books . Some people see this ad a good forward step while others do not. What are advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The World Cup is a very important event for soccer fans all over the world. Many countries compete for the honor of hosting this event. In your opinion, what are the major benefits and drawbacks of hosting an international sporting event such as the World Cup?