Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While some people opine that
computers
Use synonyms
have greatly improved human capability, others think the exact opposite as they consider it as a hindrance. I believe
computers
Use synonyms
have a detrimental effect on our lives due to their
over involvement
Add a hyphen
over-involvement
show examples
especially in case of the teenagers.
To begin
Linking Words
with, one of the main reason why these technologies are affecting us because children utilize them for entertainment purposes which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
mainly playing online
games
Use synonyms
with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
would make them less interested to play outdoor
games
Use synonyms
which greatly deprives them mentally as well as physically fit.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some high definition computer
games
Use synonyms
involve violence which obviously affects their mental growth and encourages them to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad things in reality. There are many cases around the world
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
shows us that
such
Linking Words
kinds of video
games
Use synonyms
could disturb a child's mind.
In addition
Linking Words
, these
high end
Add a hyphen
high-end
show examples
machinaries
Correct your spelling
machineries
are widely exploited by children in
adoloscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
to watch vulgarity which is easily accessible in
this
Linking Words
modern era.
Instead
Linking Words
of being a help for the growth of the generation, these types of toxic
multimedias
Correct your spelling
multimedia
actually
destroys
Change the verb form
destroy
show examples
their career by making them do things which are not real.
For example
Linking Words
, website like the
You tube
Correct your spelling
Youtube
show examples
which is accessible through
computers
Use synonyms
should come up with some regulations in order to control the spreading of
negaitve
Correct your spelling
negative
aspects through their site. There are many other sites
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
shares
Change the verb form
share
show examples
videos with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of refinement and
as a result
Linking Words
of these,
computers
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
blamed along with it. To conclude, in my opinion,
computers
Use synonyms
are causing extreme damage to our society especially in
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation which could create many problems in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in the long
run
Add a comma
,run
show examples
it could affect not only a country but
also
Linking Words
the whole world. News rules and regulations have to
introduced
Change the verb
introduce
show examples
and implemented by the government.
Submitted by Ashith on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: