IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages and disadvantages of convenience food?

#rise #convenience #food #people #lifestyle
There has been a dramatic change in the life of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 years as they are becoming busier. Owing to
this
, the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
readymade
Correct your spelling
ready-made
show examples
 food is escalating in order to maintain hectic schedules.
This
 essay will assert the merits and drawbacks of packaged items in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the major advantage of convenience food is that it saves
time
 as compared to cooking which consumes
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
 of
time
 and energy.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of food requires very
less
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
 steps to be prepared.
As a result
, people can utilize
this
time
 in other recreational activities.
Additionally
, paced foods are easily portable especially, in travelling. There is no threat of spilling of cooked meal in
bagpack
Correct your spelling
backpack
 as these products are perfectly packed and handy to travel with. To exemplify, if an individual is ready to commute to a particular place,
then
 these type of items are extremely beneficial for them as there would not be any need to cook the meals before travelling. On the paradoxical side, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of demerits of convenience goods.
Firstly
, packaged goods are generally harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 health as numerous preservatives are being used to incline the life of these items.
Thus
, excessive consumption of
this
 puts a detrimental effect on the health of people.
Secondly
, these products give
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 contribution in producing pollution as mostly
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of meals are packed in plastic containers which are toxic for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and non-biodegradable in nature. To cite an example, according to a survey by
leading
Add an article
a leading
show examples
 newspaper, it has been estimated that 85% of garbage has been increased in tourist destinations after the invention of preserved foods. To recapitulate,
although
, ready-to-make products consume less
time
 to prepare and can be easily carried while on a trip
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, simultaneously, it puts
deleterious
Add an article
a deleterious
show examples
 effect on one's health, if these are eaten excessively and
also
 it adds in polluting the surroundings.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: