IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is no sense of community. Discuss the causes and suggest measures that might deal with this situation.

#cities #people #neighbours #sense #community #measures #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era,
communication
Use synonyms
 among
individuals
Use synonyms
 has been decreasing enormously. Nowadays, in numerous urban areas, the rise in population has reduced the sense of belongingness among
prople
Correct your spelling
people
. Does
this
Linking Words
 statement have some specific reasons? The logical answer is yes.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss its causes along with some possible solutions in subsequent paragraphs. To initiate with, the primary reason for the
communication
Use synonyms
 gap between neighbours is the hectic schedule of the masses. In
this
Linking Words
 inflationary era, all the members of the family prefer to do work for longer hours in order to make both ends meet which
further
Linking Words
 leaves no time to be spent with
people
Use synonyms
 with nearby places.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend creates less or no conversation with
people
Use synonyms
 of local areas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason for little
communication
Use synonyms
 between the masses who live
next
Linking Words
 door is the
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
up gradation
 of technology. Updated technology has made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 addicted or relied totally on these gadgets and they prefer to communicate through the internet.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 ultimately leads to no physical interaction with others in their life. To exemplify, nowadays, many youngsters prefer to talk with their neighbourhood mates through Whatsapp or Instagram which creates
Use synonyms
communication
Correct article usage
a communication
show examples
 gap to some extent. On the paradoxical side, no issue is insurmountable. So, these issues can be solved by organising community activities in local areas.
People
Use synonyms
 should organise events either weekly or fortnightly to create and maintain the bond of neighbours among each other.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 measure would make them socialised in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a problem of interaction can be curbed by attending functions of local
people
Use synonyms
.
Individuals
Use synonyms
 should attend the community functions of
people
Use synonyms
 who reside
next
Linking Words
 to homes in order to create a sense of brotherhood or connectivity among each other. To epitomize, humans should go to weddings or on religious ceremonies of neighbours to create a strong relationship with them. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
, the cause of inclining of
communication
Use synonyms
 gap among masses is due to the busy schedule and technology advancements,
however
Linking Words
, introducing regular events and attending cultural functions would help the
individuals
Use synonyms
 to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: