In some countries increasing number of people are suffering from from health problems result of eating too much fast foods government should impose higher taxes on them on what extent do you agree or disagree with this

There is an idea that raising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
governmental taxes on junk
food
, which is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
different illnesses may decrease the number of people who have
health
Add an article
a health
show examples
problem. Personally, I do not totally agree, because supposed action may lead to economic issues in states.
To begin
with
given
Add an article
a given
the given
show examples
suggestion which indeed could improve
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
state of
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
. Today a lot of people prefer to eat fast
food
which is
harmfulfor
Correct your spelling
harmful for
their
health
.
For example
, approximately 45% of American citizens have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
obesity because of frequent eating of junk
food
.
Thus
, growth of
taxex
Correct your spelling
taxes
on
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
the harmful
show examples
meal in countries, as the USA possibly make
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
better. In spite of
such
action can have a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
impact on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
, there are could be several negative effects.
First
of all, if humans do not stop
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
and buy fast
food
, they will have to increase their living
expancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
and it can make
worse
Add an article
the worse
a worse
show examples
financial situation in society.
In addition
, some people probably do not understand
this
measure, why government raise
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
on their favourite and cheap meal.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
it can
may
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social demonstrations. So, the raising of
taxex
Correct your spelling
taxes
can be dangerous. In conclusion,
authority
Add an article
the authority
show examples
of some countries may try to improve
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in their states by escalating prices on fast
food
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
we should not forget about
possibly
Change the adverb
possible
show examples
consequences
such
as the falling level of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and social protests.
Submitted by Dana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: