Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, well-known
people
may be confined to
Add an article
the

The noun phrase gossip column seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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gossip column. Now, undeniably, the
celebrity
play
Change the verb form
plays

The plural verb play does not appear to agree with the singular subject the celebrity. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a vital role in society,
thus
, attaining a great deal of recognition from the public.
However
, there are predominantly two contrasting where a section of society vehemently deems that some international aid groups can gain more attention with the help of the
celebrity
while others believe that famous
people
make a few contributions to society. In
this
essay, I will argue that celebrities have a good few effects on the public. One primary reason is the well-known
people
who have massive amounts of fans. Followers always pay more attention to
celebrity
's daily routine and have the prowess to contribute any donation. Due to the high amounts of fans,
for example
, some charity eager to obtain much assistance from the masses by celebrities. Not surprisingly, more and more welfare organizations start to cooperate with famous
people
to prompt their visibility;
Consequently
, the organization can raise public awareness of
important
Add an article
the important

The noun phrase important issue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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issue, as well as, attain a great deal of offering. One drawback,
however
,
people
may lose interest in a charity if the famous person stops their involvement.
This
manner is unlikely to receive support from universal followers.
In addition
to the masses of advocate, international aid group can benefit from the
celebrity
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word because. Consider adding a preposition.

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the prevalence of social media. Advance in technology has revolutionised our life. Take social media as an example, famous
people
draw media attention wherever they go which helps to highlight a charity resulting in the global
people
have access to approach the detailed information rapidly and easily. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that the institute can obtain more support with the help of celebrities through a pool of fans and technology. These pattern has become a tendency toward the universe.
Submitted by peggy72323 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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