IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

#school #renovations #suggestions #change #changes
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing with reference to the letter I received yesterday from your school.
Hence
, I would like to extend my suggestions on your request.
Firstly
, I would like to
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
 the fact that the school is facing difficulties in providing better library facilities to the
students
.
In addition
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of computers is a definite disadvantage for
students
 studying information technology. In fact, I would like to suggest the below for the betterment of your current and future
students
.
Firstly
, it is imperative to renovate both the library and IT lab for
students
 to obtain maximum benefits.
Secondly
, it is vital to add more equipment for both premises
such
 as furniture, computers and books as many
students
 should have the ability to utilize the facilities at once.
Therefore
, the school could take several approaches to make these changes.
Firstly
, raise required funds to make through writing to organizations in the region.
Secondly
, write to the local community club to obtain assistance in finding labour to execute the projects. I hope
this
 letter would assist you in achieving your purpose. Yours faithfully, Madonna Samasundera
Submitted by madonnasama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: