The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

These days,

less

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fewer

show examples

people

are suffer

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are suffering

show examples

from hunger in the developed countries because of the development of technologies;

on the other hand

Linking Words

, the youth in a lot of developed nations

are tend

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tends

show examples

to be

obesed

Correct your spelling

obese

obsessed

and

this

Linking Words

is getting problematic. In the following essay, I would discuss

about

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apply

show examples

cause

Add an article

the cause

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of the issue and how would it be solved.

First

Linking Words

of all, the reason might be the spread of fast food. It became popular among young people in a decade because of its ease to eat, price, and taste. Many teenagers enjoy having hamburgers, pizza, or sandwiches.

However

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, the fats and other

nutrition

Replace the word

nutrients

show examples

contained in the junk meals are not as healthy as normal meals;

consequently

Linking Words

, the young individuals who ate fast foods frequently became obese.

Second

Linking Words

of all, the solution might be education in houses and school. The reason that they eat junk food might be their ignorance about the risk of being

obesed

Correct your spelling

obese

obsessed

;

thus

Linking Words

, by letting them know how

those diet

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that diet

those diets

show examples

would be harmful to them, it would be

Remove the article

apply

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beneficial prevention.

For example

Linking Words

, schools should talk about their meals during the health classes and check what kind of dishes they eat. In my conclusion, the cause of the young people

get

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gets

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overweight might would be the junk food get prevailed and the way to

breakthrough

Correct your spelling

break through

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation might be to educate them about the proper diet.

dokmally2

Apr 16, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion