IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

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These days, because of the development of medical treatment or better hygiene, people became able to live longer and
this
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 might seem to be a pleasant thing;
however
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, actually, it leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 dramatic increase in population and there are some problems. In the following essay, I would discuss what the issue is
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 how would it be solved.
First
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 of all, the matter of
over population
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overpopulation
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 would be the deficiency of resources. As the number of people
exists
Correct pronoun usage
who exists
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 in
this
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 world rise, the consumption of things
such
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 as oil, food, and water will get faster;
therefore
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, the day that materials are exhausted come soon. What will happen is the deterioration of inequality because of lack of resources: as the price of the goods and services will be more expensive, the producers have to
rise
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raise
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 price and it will produce the gap between individuals who are rich and poor. One thing that individuals can do is to prevent the rapid consumption of the resource. By each person be
Correct your spelling
careful
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carful
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careful
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 of using the materials, they can postpone the time they will deplete.
For example
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, when the citizens of Kenya was lack of supply of water, the individuals spend less water for shower, drinking, and fashing the dishes, they were succeeded in
prevent
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preventing
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 to exhaust
the
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of the
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 assets.
Furthermore
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, when the citizens could not improve the situation and the distribution of the objects become unequal, the government can prepare subsidy to the citizens and support them. In my conclusion, the problem of overpopulation would be the inequality leading to the lack of supplies and solutions might be to use less of the materials or rely on the government subsidy.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strain on infrastructure
  • public services
  • overcrowded
  • inadequate healthcare services
  • pressure on educational institutions
  • environmental impact
  • increased pollution
  • waste management
  • destruction of green spaces
  • natural habitats
What to do next:
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