IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Less
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Fewer
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 youths are ready to take care of their
parents
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 than before.
While
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 a group support it to spend more time concentrating on their jobs, others including me, disapprove and fear the emotional pain on the whole family. I believe
this
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 trend has more drawbacks than benefits. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, not looking after
parents
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 has minor advantages. Some youths choose not to be caregivers for their
parents
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 because they find
this
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 responsibility
as
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apply
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an overwhelming obligation they can not endure.
Thus
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, a significant number of youths prefer to hire professional help to take care of their
parents
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 or put them in senior houses.
Consequently
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, they have time to focus on their career,
while
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 the
parents
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 are getting a professional level of help. To illustrate, new nursing houses are opening recently offering multiple facilities to entertain the senior guests all day long.
This
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 type of
houses
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house
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 is becoming so popular because of
its
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the
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 positive effects they have on the morality of guests.
On the Other hand
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, there are serious disadvantages of not taking care of
parents
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.
Firstly
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, the
parents
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 feel abandoned by their children, which in
return
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turn
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 makes them depressed. A second disadvantage is that children lose their connections with their
family
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families
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;
hence
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, they live a life with no emotional support.
As a result
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, both
parents
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 and children suffer emotionally.
Furthermore
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, the second generation deprives themselves
from
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of
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 the rich experience the older generation transmits to them. A clear example is some family businesses that
close
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closed
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 their doors after the death of their founders, and
that is
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 because the heirs did not carry the knowledge and wisdom of their
parents
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.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, the disadvantages of not looking after the
parents
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 outweigh the advantages.
That is
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 because saving time for career improvement should not be used as an argument to neglect the
parents
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.
Moreover
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, both parties are negatively affected by the trend.

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and clarity in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of children not looking after their parents.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, but the overall progression of ideas and arguments could be improved for better coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Generational dynamics
  • Elderly care
  • Filial piety
  • Professional care services
  • Psychological well-being
  • Social responsibility
  • Financial burden
  • Emotional strain
  • Nuclear family
  • Assisted living
  • Health care systems
  • Social norms
  • Dependency ratio
  • Aging population
  • Cultural values
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