IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

373. Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is tolive a life without that lechnology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #development #technology #life #tolive #lechnology
It is difficult to think how we managed our lives before the widespread use of everyday technologies
such
 as the Internet and mobile phones, which we now take for granted.
Therefore
, I disagree with the view that modern machinery has really made our lives more complicated and it would be wiser to revert to the older and simpler ways of activity.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological development does not complicate our heart, but
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 it makes our
life
 much violet, While there are plenty of examples of
this
, the way that e-commerce has changed our
life
 may be best
va
Correct your spelling
VA
 describe it. In the ,past we had to travel long distances to stores in multiple locations in order to purchase the items we wanted. Today online shopping has made it possible for us to sit at home and buy almost everything we want with just a few clicks. There are other examples
such
 as teleconferences, which save the trouble to bring people from different parts of the world together, and software like Skype and Face-time, which allow users in different places to communicate "face-to-face". In fact, the goal of new technologies is to simplify people's
life
instead
 of complicating them.
Moreover
, inventors throughout the ages have thought of practically every device imaginable to assist humans in conducting their everyday affairs, from baby strollers to
life
-support machines. In fact, we are flooded with technological gadgets in
this
 modern world and there is no sign of a reversal in
this
 trend occurring. Imagine for a moment, if there were no television or computers. How would we know who had won the latest cricket match? Or what was going on in the world? What would the weather be like tomorrow?
On the other hand
, the problem with modern automation is our increasing inability to tune out from an overload in information and our growing reliance on machines that perform mindless tasks, which we could simply do for ourselves. It is not rare to see people who choose to get away from
Add an article
the
an
show examples
online social network for some time. Their feedbacks are generally positive but ,
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 they all come back because simply living without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automation is not the solution. In conclusion, it seems to me that the purpose of machinery is not to make activity complex, but quite the opposite, to solve problems in our soul and make
life
 easier.
Therefore
, giving up technology is not the way to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simpler growth.
Instead
, we should know where to draw the line so that
this
 technology does not take over our
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 completely.
Submitted by minhaj2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: