More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries.

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“Health is wealth”. It is generally observed that the rich countries youth generation are putting on weight, which has become a serious issue in well-established countries.

To begin

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with, a modern and a glance state will serve their population all the modern facilities,

however

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, it

also

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brings its downside along with it. Having said that,

life

Use synonyms

becomes too easy with new technology, which reduces the stress of work.

This

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will make a person more sedentary and dependable on modern needs.

This

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will results in the person not moving but only eating and adding tons of calories. To exemplify, the kids from the three-decade back are into playing outdoor games unlike today’s generation who are more into mobile and PlayStation games,

this

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is the cause of kids are falling into a pit of an unhealthy lifestyle.

Moreover

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, these make society more vulnerable. To do any kind of work in the office we have a computer, household work we have

home based

Add a hyphen

home-based

show examples

electric appliances. Due to many

such

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amenities person turns lazier and plus they don’t have any physical activity, which will result in joint stiffness, muscle pain, cholesterol spikes up.

For example

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, a homebound kid, who has all the sophisticated surroundings will grow with less active

life

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and during his teenage, he never realize what kind of food is right for health, so wrong eating and depending

life

Use synonyms

will cause dreadful disease like heart attack, diabetes, liver problems. So one has to quite aware of the repercussions of the scenario. To conclude, it is obvious that the modern lifestyle will bring its harmful effects,

however

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, a real wise man understands its evil side and start working on a better way of living to get rid of terrible issues which make

life

Use synonyms

miserable.

Submitted by Viraj on Sun Apr 18 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Processed foods
Sedentary lifestyle
Nutrition
Caloric intake
Metabolic disorders
Physical activity
Health education
Dietary habits
Food marketing
Convenience foods
Health initiatives
Preventative measures
Body mass index (BMI)
Public health crisis
Lifestyle diseases
Healthy eating
Exercise regimen
Wellness programs
Social stigma

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Causes of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Governments spend a large amount of money every year on works of art. ( for example, pain things & sculptures ) Do you think this is a good or bad use of public money ?

You have had a problem with your nest-door neighbour. You have not been able to speak to your neighbour about this. Write a letter to this neighbour in your letter * Explain the problem * Suggest a solution * Say what action you will take if the situation does not improve

The English language is used as a global language in most countries in the world. Do you think the advantages of using English as a global language outweigh the disadvantages?