Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In modern times,
this
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particular topic has become increasingly controversial among certain demographic in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.A vast number of masses vocalise that since female
are
Change the verb form
is
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best in term of taking care
their
Change preposition
of their
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kids they should only concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
it
instead
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of doing jobs .
however
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,I completely disagree with
this
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statement and in
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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I will amplify it briefly.
To begin
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with,there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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why individuals support
this
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even though their points are not much
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
.they often say that as mother play an essential role in
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
life
thus
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they should only be with them and teach various sort of stuff
such
Linking Words
as moral values and how to respect
other .
Change the wording
another .for example
other .for examples
show examples
for example
Linking Words
, recent research
also
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indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
that maximum kids who become successful in their life wheres mother play a vital role .
moreover
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, mothers only know their child more than anyone so they can raise them
betterly
Correct your spelling
better
compared to other.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary caregivers
  • biological factors
  • maternal instincts
  • nurturing
  • workforce
  • career growth
  • income equality
  • family dynamics
  • shared responsibility
  • gender stereotypes
  • economic disparities
  • traditional roles
  • modern family
  • active roles in childcare
  • opportunity and support
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