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Band 4

Nowadays football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it?

#football #supporters
soccers is most popular sports in
european
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European
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 countries and it is admired widespread across the globe. it has
huge
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a huge
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 fan following and
people
 feel attached to it. in recent times
every day
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everyday
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 life is filled with frustration, anxiety and anger which lead to some violence in
soccer
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a soccer
the soccer
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stadium
.
winner
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the winner
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 celebrates and the losser gets
frustated
Correct your spelling
frustrated
 in most cases money matter is involved in the form of
match fixing
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match-fixing
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 . here we are going have look
on
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at
show examples
 some of
positive
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the positive
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 and negative effects
on
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of
show examples
paticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 played
sport
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sports
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soccer
.
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
people
 behave in
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exceptional
expectional
Correct article usage
an expectional
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 manner which is quite rude and fearsome to other
people
.
soccer
 a game in which
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of wealth is involved and
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
 personal feelings too. performing
of
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apply
show examples
soccer
 teams affect
people
most
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mostly
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 because of their
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
close interaction with it. the other crucial factor is money
people
 bet on their favourite teams to make many and
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 it goes
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 as high as millions. with the team condition and match predictable
last
 minute is
Add an article
an
the
show examples
accurate time where frustration is seen .
solution
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the solution
a solution
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 to
this
 new problem lies in
soccer
 itself , rules should be made to restrict prohibit
people
 from betting or match-fixing.
stadium
 instruction should be conveyed to
people
 to behave in a more civilised manner. drinks containing alcohol should immediately be banned
Add a hyphen
in-stadium
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in
Change preposition
on
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stadium
 premises. provoking language
ang
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and
 signs should not be permitted . enjoy
game
Add an article
the game
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 and let others enjoy should be
logo
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the logo
a logo
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 of
stadium
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the stadium
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.
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 old
soccer
 fan was beaten up by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 group of young students because he protested against their bad language and
alchol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
consumpyion
Correct your spelling
consumption
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the premises.
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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