IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Do you have to sacrifice your
privacy
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 to gain popularity? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss whether
media
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 should give more
privacy
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 to an actor or they
Replace the word
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 their
right
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 when they become a famous person. I will
also
Linking Words
 give my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
 at the end.
Privacy
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 is an individual
birth
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birthright
show examples
right
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 given to every person apart from his background, culture, race, etc. and no one is allowed to invade it for any reason without permission. According to article 3.15A, states that "
"
Change the punctuation
apply
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Invading in Personal property and
life
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 without his/her permission is an offensive crime and can
leds
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leads
LEDs
 to jail or heavy fine"
"
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apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, with increasing popularity an individual has a big fan following who wants to keep updated with their favourite stars and it
encourage
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encourages
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media
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 to get into the private
life
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 of a famous person and invade their
privacy
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 so, they can increase their TRP rating and earn a lot of money. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, Amitabh Bacchan is One of the legendary Bollywood actors in India, and
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media
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the media
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 follows him
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everywhere
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everwhere
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everywhere
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 to get the latest picture and news so, they can publish it as soon as possible. In my opinion, Everyone has a
right
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 to have his/her own
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privacy
Replace the word
private
show examples
 time with their beloved ones and we should respect that.
Media
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 and fans should understand that
,
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apply
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 it is a crime to invade anyone's private
life
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 and can cause you a lot of problems. In conclusion, I would say that
Media
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 should understand that they don't have
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right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to invade anyone's personal
life
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, and they should respect it as well

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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