IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#minutes #topic #people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life
Do you have to sacrifice your
privacy
 to gain popularity? In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss whether
media
 should give more
privacy
 to an actor or they
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 their
right
 when they become a famous person. I will
also
 give my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
 at the end.
Privacy
 is an individual
birth
Correct your spelling
birthright
show examples
right
 given to every person apart from his background, culture, race, etc. and no one is allowed to invade it for any reason without permission. According to article 3.15A, states that "
"
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Invading in Personal property and
life
 without his/her permission is an offensive crime and can
leds
Correct your spelling
leads
LEDs
 to jail or heavy fine"
"
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
.
However
, with increasing popularity an individual has a big fan following who wants to keep updated with their favourite stars and it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
media
 to get into the private
life
 of a famous person and invade their
privacy
 so, they can increase their TRP rating and earn a lot of money. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, Amitabh Bacchan is One of the legendary Bollywood actors in India, and
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 follows him
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
everwhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
 to get the latest picture and news so, they can publish it as soon as possible. In my opinion, Everyone has a
right
 to have his/her own
privacy
Replace the word
private
show examples
 time with their beloved ones and we should respect that.
Media
 and fans should understand that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is a crime to invade anyone's private
life
 and can cause you a lot of problems. In conclusion, I would say that
Media
 should understand that they don't have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to invade anyone's personal
life
, and they should respect it as well
Submitted by vsingh39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: