Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Happiness is just a state of mind and a

person

Use synonyms

is solely responsible for it. Nowadays, the majority of

people

Use synonyms

believe that money is an important element for euphoria,

whereas

Linking Words

others opine

this

Linking Words

very notion and think there are other ways to find joy.

However

Linking Words

, I support the latter view and the following paragraphs would elucidate both standpoints with apt specimens and justifications.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in

this

Linking Words

present time,

people

Use synonyms

find prosperity in the stuff they own, like expensive cars, gadgets and many other things.

For example

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, many folks feel satisfied when they spend a good amount of money on buying things for themselves, which eventually gives them a feeling of joy.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

feel safe and secure, which is considered to be another form of happiness, when they have good wealth and social status.

Therefore

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this

Linking Words

makes it clear that personal contentment is directly proportional to the economic status of a

person

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the detractors do not agree with the aforementioned standpoint, because they think that there are other factors that entail

Change preposition

apply

show examples

person

Use synonyms

's enjoyment.

Firstly

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, it is believed that one feels happier when he or she is surrounded by their loved ones.

For instance

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, a study revealed that the human brain releases a certain fluid when surrounded by

their

Change the word

the

show examples

family whom they love the most.

Secondly

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, the deeds of a

person

Use synonyms

play a vital role in their prosperity because a lot of

people

Use synonyms

feel happy after helping the needy, which gives them a feeling of calm and glee.

Hence

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, it becomes apparent that

joyness

Correct your spelling

joy

depends on other components too.

To sum up

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although

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, both viewpoints have their own significance, yet, it is undeniable that in

this

Linking Words

ultra-modern age, it depends largely on the wealth factor. In my perspective, it is entirely up to a

person

Use synonyms

, how they find happiness because there are so many ingredients

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available, they just need to look for it.

d.khiwani92Tue Apr 20 2021

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task response

Maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay. Ensure that the opinion stated in the introduction is supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs together.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinemas. Others, say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their communities. This is good foe the individuals concerned and society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with htis view? Discuss, based on your own knowledge and experience.

Your friend invited you to his/her birthday party, but you are unable to attend. Write a letter apologizing for your absence. In your letter: • State why you cannot go • Explain your reason for not contacting your friend sooner • Suggest another time to meet.