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Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#countries #people #health #food #government #tax
People
 are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health problems due to eating too much fast
food
 in some countries. Due to
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
government
 has the right to impose a higher
tax
 on that
food
. In my opinion, I agree that the
tax
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 ought to be revised and by increasing the
tax
 it will greatly give positive impact to lower down
people
 interest eat that
food
. A good reason
a fast
Remove the article
fast food
a portion of fast food
show examples
food
 should receive
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
tax
 is that it will help
people
 to have a lower interest to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
.
This
 method will force
people
 to opt
another
Change preposition
for another
show examples
 alternative to eat more healthy
food
 that contains
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
decent nutrition.
For example
, without increasing the
tax
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 it allows
people
 from
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
show examples
 family to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
.
Hence
, increasing the
tax
 is the accurate solution to be applied as it able to reduce the scale of
people
 eating the
food
. Another point to consider is that the current environment of
people
 life has to take into account as well since most of the
people
 busy with their carrier and
time
 to cook at home is lesser, so they are looking for
immediate
Add an article
an immediate
show examples
 approach.
For instance
, a working wife has to execute various works at
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
 and did not have much
time
 to having
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
food
 for their self and
family
Correct pronoun usage
her family
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
Government
 should play a vital role in resolving
this
 issue before it became worse. Controlling it at an initial stage will help
people
 to always stay healthy all the
time
.
For example
, imposing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
tax
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 will
also
 increase
government
 revenue while ensuring
people
 healthy.
In other words
, both parties will acquire the benefit.
This
 approach
also
 capable of
to reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 financial support provided by a
government
 to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 healthcare sector since most of the
time
 a substantial amount of money given to that sector to take care of
people
 that
having
Change the form of the verb
have
show examples
 a chronic disease.
Besides
 that,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
 ought to consider increasing or imposing
tax
 advertisement for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
. By doing
this
 way, it will help
people
 to not so influenced
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the advertisement provided by a
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 company which usually conducted in a creative manner. In conclusion, fast
food
 contains bad substances which can
affected
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body in a long run,
hence
government
 must take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
precaution
Replace the word
precautionary
show examples
 steps in imposing a
tax
 as
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
tax
 will be impacted the business while
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
tax
 result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
people
 takes the
food
.
Submitted by afastars on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
What to do next:
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