ome people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion
It is argued by some that watching
television
, listening to music and meeting friends
have a stronger influence on a child’s development
in comparison to the influence of his family on that subject. In my opinion, even though children invest more time nowadays watching television
and playing with friends
, a fact that can greatly affect their development
, the fundamental bonds between family members have a greater impact on individuals’ development
.
On the one hand, in the current times
children are spending a growing amount of time with their Add a comma
,times
friends
and on playing the computer or tablet. This
is simply because today children are more independent and can interact with their friends
more easily. Children’s maturity is significantly affected by these activities because it plays a dominant part of
their lives nowadays. Change preposition
in
For example
, my son has learned how to read and write almost entirely by watching a television
show with his best friend.
On the other hand
, I honestly believe that the connections between family members have a stronger impact on one’s development
than any television
show or a certain song. Teenagers and toddlers are heavily affected by dealing with complicated and difficult situations and are often sharing these difficulties with their parents or siblings. For instance
, My son had faced social problems when he joined a new classroom the last
year and he managed to overcame
Change the verb
overcome
this
situation with the help of his mother. I think that this
interaction with his mother had a major impact on his development
.
In conclusion, in my belief, the unique and powerful bonds within the family cell can have a greater effect on youngsters’ development
than any movie, song, or even good friendship with another child.Submitted by nimrod.dar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite