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Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Many
people
 are working for a long
time
, making them have only a short
time
 for leisure activities. It brings more disadvantages than the advantages it brings to
people
, and it might harm
people
's lives in two different ways: health and family.
First
 of all,
work
 for a long
time
 without a break will cause health issues to the
people
 who don't have extra
time
 to relax. Without a doubt,
people
 will decide to give away their for gaining money in exchange.
For example
, if the
person
's job is a programmer,
then
 the
person
 keeps sitting in a chair and do the programming
work
, it might cause him to gain weight since he doesn't have
time
 to do
work
-out to burn down calories, and it will eventually make the
person
 get high blood pressure, etc. All of the problems can be solved if the
person
 has more
time
 for leisure activities.
Work
 overtime might
also
 lead to the separation of a family because
people
 will spend less
time
 with their family when concentrating on their
work
. Here is a true story that happened to one of my friends. My friend used to have a good family when he was young.
Then
 his mother decided to go to Paris for her business, which made her only come back to them once per year. Since his mother got busier to her business, she decided to focus on the job and not came back, and his parent got divorced three years later. Sometimes, hard-working might not lead to a good ending and causes a separation of a completed family. So as I mentioned earlier, I believe that
people
 must have extra
time
 for leisure activities to avoid the many health issues and the separation of a family.
Submitted by zhaohong1997111 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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