Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
careers has risen and many employers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
chosen their employees who have positive factors which their ages is more important for them.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
phenomenon brings a wide range of disadvantages for some
people
Use synonyms
, there are some practical ways to prevent these negative aspects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new staffs are chosen by some necessary items
such
Linking Words
as age, which could bring bad news for elderly
people
Use synonyms
. But have
this
Linking Words
way of selection any problems? It means that, due to the lack of enough experiences of the young
people
Use synonyms
, they should have mistakes compared with elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
then
Linking Words
, their work could lead them in the wrong way.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The money which is given to them should be not important to a person who has higher age. As result, they spend them in some unnecessary ways which are not suitable for them. There is some practical way to having a better job opportunity.
First
Linking Words
of all, the mixture of the experienced person and young
people
Use synonyms
can bring a lot of benefit for every business and use from both perfusions of middle-age person and energy of youngers at the same time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, employers must choose their employees based on their skills rather than their ages, which can improve a healthy competition between
people
Use synonyms
at the same job, personally, I believe that many young
people
Use synonyms
have talent which is wasted because of lack of reliability from employers.
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: