IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #profit #company #profits
Some
people
 assume that new young
people
 bring profit.
However
, others assert that old employees are more profitable for the organisations. In my opinion, nowadays, having the right mix of youngsters and senior employees is mandatory and beneficial for a
company
's success.
To begin
 with the benefits of having a senior employee in the
organisation
, they are more experienced than new workers. Older
people
 saw several ups and downs in their life
that is
 why handling any situation is their expertise.
For example
, when a person spent 20 years in a specific
company
, he is the only person capable of predicting and solving the crisis of the agency.
Moreover
, spending whole life in a
company
also
 shows the loyalty of the senior employee.
Therefore
, it is advantageous for the
organisation
 to have mature
people
 in the
company
.
Secondly
, the young generation has the quality and advanced education with a new technological approach. Because of
this
, younger
people
 are more productive and progressive than older recruits.
For instance
,
people
 with high tech knowledge are helpful for a
company
 to invent new products that directly lead to the
company
's success.
Therefore
, it is evident that the newer generation is equally essential as, the older generation.
In other words
, to drive innovation and profitability, an
organisation
 needs a younger workforce. In light of the above discussion, it seems fair and justifiable to say that the young and mature recruits are equal to the
company
. While youngsters can bring in innovation, seniors know how to steer the
organisation
 during bad times.
Submitted by Komalpreet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adaptable
  • Innovations
  • Breakthroughs
  • Deep industry knowledge
  • Mentors
  • Fostering
  • Workforce balance
  • Maximizing profits
  • Enthusiasm
  • Wisdom
What to do next:
Look at other essays: