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Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.

#children #people #government #responsibility
It is a fact that teenagers are now suffering from obesity and illness.
Therefore
, many parents argue that the
government
 should be responsible for
this
 trouble. In my opinion, I am in agreement with
this
 idea. The
first
 reason for
this
 is because schools impact a lot on students. If there is a balanced diet in schools’ meals, children will follow it immediately with their teachers’ assistance.
Moreover
, junk foods must be prohibited in
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
show examples
 environment. So that it cannot spark off detrimental effects on students.
Besides
, students must be taught about healthcare, diet and outdoor exercises at schools.
Secondly
, the
government
 should consider higher tax or fee on fast foods and reduce the cost of hygienic, advantageous foods. It proves that the more cost of fast
food
, the
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
number
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 of children who use it regularly. The
government
 should impart
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about the importance of eating vegetables, fruits, healthy
food
 and the demerits of junk
food
, fast
food
, obesity. There should be more opportunities for children to get used to eating vegetables. In conclusion, obesity is one of the most crucial problems nowadays. But it can be taken over by the
government
, parents’ and schools’ supports.
Submitted by Dương Nguyễn on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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