Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

#people #money #time #quality #life

Few people

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that only

money

is more

valuabe

Correct your spelling

valuable

and can provide good quality of

life

compared to free

time

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

free

time

is more valuable than

money

to lead a happy and quality

life

Money

can be earned anytime but

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

we can regain it.

Upcoming

Add an article

The upcoming

An upcoming

show examples

paragraph will give

further

information related to my opinion. Yes ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree that to lead

Remove the article

apply

show examples

sophisticated

life

money

is important, but to continue to have that

life

they have to work hard each and every moment for

whole

Correct pronoun usage

their whole

show examples

life

without enjoying what they have earned and

also

they will not have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

memorable

momemnts

Correct your spelling

moments

with their loved ones.

For instance

Film

Change preposition

in Film

show examples

celebraties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

, They need to travel all the

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outdoor for

stooting

Correct your spelling

shooting

and to earn

money

due to which they cannot stay for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

period with their family and

also

can spend

time

for

self

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

.But we change

this

by limiting our works and by giving priority to family than

money

Secondly

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

with free

time

This

man can plan his

time

with family ,

self growth

Add a hyphen

self-growth

show examples

and

also

spend some

time

on his hobbies to lead and pleasant and

happly

Correct your spelling

happy

happily

life

with his own rules.

Money

also

important to survive but not as much as

time

. We can earn

money

which

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

us feed and get what is is needed.

For example

, Workers in factories or any other

industies

Correct your spelling

industries

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are happy with the income they earn and

spendthe

Correct your spelling

spend the

remaining available

time

with family. In conclusion, In each and every person

life

money

and

time

plays

Change the article

the

show examples

main role and are important. But when compared in between them , We can't get

time

which is lost but can earn

money

which we don't have. So

Time

is more important than

money

Submitted by gteja2502 on Tue Apr 27 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you share their optimism? What changes would you like to see in the new century?

Why do some people who leave school early are more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Reasons why they are more successful and what is required to be successful?