Some people believe that money is more important than free time for a good quality of life. Others say the opposite is true. Discuss both views. What is more important in your opinion? Give relevant examples.

Few people

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

that only

money

Use synonyms

is more

valuabe

Correct your spelling

valuable

and can provide good quality of

life

Use synonyms

compared to free

time

Use synonyms

. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

is more valuable than

money

Use synonyms

to lead a happy and quality

life

Use synonyms

Money

Use synonyms

can be earned anytime but

Use synonyms

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

we can regain it.

Upcoming

Add an article

The upcoming

An upcoming

show examples

paragraph will give

further

Linking Words

information related to my opinion. Yes ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree that to lead

Remove the article

apply

show examples

sophisticated

life

Use synonyms

money

Use synonyms

is important, but to continue to have that

life

Use synonyms

they have to work hard each and every moment for

whole

Correct pronoun usage

their whole

show examples

life

Use synonyms

without enjoying what they have earned and

also

Linking Words

they will not have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

memorable

momemnts

Correct your spelling

moments

with their loved ones.

For instance

Linking Words

Film

Change preposition

in Film

show examples

celebraties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

, They need to travel all the

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outdoor for

stooting

Correct your spelling

shooting

and to earn

money

Use synonyms

due to which they cannot stay for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

period with their family and

also

Linking Words

can spend

time

Use synonyms

for

self

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

.But we change

this

Linking Words

by limiting our works and by giving priority to family than

money

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

with free

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

man can plan his

time

Use synonyms

with family ,

self growth

Add a hyphen

self-growth

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

spend some

time

Use synonyms

on his hobbies to lead and pleasant and

happly

Correct your spelling

happy

happily

life

Use synonyms

with his own rules.

Money

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

important to survive but not as much as

time

Use synonyms

. We can earn

money

Use synonyms

which

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

us feed and get what is is needed.

For example

Linking Words

, Workers in factories or any other

industies

Correct your spelling

industries

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are happy with the income they earn and

spendthe

Correct your spelling

spend the

remaining available

time

Use synonyms

with family. In conclusion, In each and every person

life

Use synonyms

money

Use synonyms

and

time

Use synonyms

plays

Change the article

the

show examples

main role and are important. But when compared in between them , We can't get

time

Use synonyms

which is lost but can earn

money

Use synonyms

which we don't have. So

Time

Use synonyms

is more important than

money

Use synonyms

gteja2502

Apr 27, 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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