Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some
people
reckon that
criminals
must be put in jail and it is not important that which kind of crime they have done.
On the other hand
, there are some
people
who believe that if we educate
offenders
and expose them to suit learning and training, it would be more effective than traditional punishments. As contraventional as
this
statement is, we will discuss both views. In the modern era, a considerable number of
people
are agree
Change the verb form
are agreed
are agreeing
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
opinion that
criminals
should be trained
instead
of
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
punished. According to statistics, most of the
criminals
are young
people
and
this
is obvious that if we provide these persons with
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
appropriate education, they can be useful for their community downing the road; because of that
I'm agree
Change the verb form
I agree
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
these educational
measures
.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
substantial
Change the article
a substantial
the substantial
show examples
number of
people
who insist on
this
idea that we should put all
offenders
in jail and they believe that traditional punishments
re
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
more practical than educational
measures
. I reckon that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous
criminals
have experienced poverty, addiction and other same problems;
furthermore
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
offenders
may be raped or beaten in prisons and I think these issues cause that
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more aggressive. So, when they release from prison, they will revenge
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
and society.
Therefore
, let me
be disagree
Change the verb form
be disagreed
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
opinion has mentioned
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the initiation of
this
paragraph. To summarize, nowadays, governments are moving toward doing preventative
measures
instead
of focus on just putting
criminals
in prison. In my opinion, we should sentence
offenders
to prison or suit training according to their crime and certainly educational
measures
will be more practical than putting
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
jail.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrent
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Vocational training
  • Retributive justice
  • Reintegration
  • Taxpayers
  • Social isolation
  • Stigmatization
  • Criminal identity
  • Self-esteem
  • Public opinion
  • Societal gains
  • Offenders
  • Imprisonment
  • Cost-effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: