Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #offenders #prison #education

In the modern era, some

people

reckon that if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

provides

criminals

with educational measures, it would be more effective than putting them in

Change preposition

apply

show examples

jail.

On the other hand

, there are some persons who believe in traditional measures and

punishments

. As contraventional as

this

statement is, we will discuss both views in

this

essay. But, what do you think? Offenders should be trained or they should be put in prison? In my view, nowadays, we had better provide

Remove the article

apply

show examples

appropriate training to

criminals

according to the

crime

they have committed. Statistics indicate that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

criminals

Add an article

the criminals

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world are young

people

; because of that, I think that if these young offenders

Change the verb form

are

show examples

learnt, they would be useful for their communication certainly.

On the other hand

, there are

people

who insist on traditional

punishments

such

as putting

people

in prison or executing them. According to

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some reports, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

persons

Add an article

the persons

show examples

who commit a

crime

have some soluble problems like addiction, poverty, depression and several other issues that can be lead to

crime

. In my opinion, if government consider these issues and provides preventative measures, the rate of

crime

will decrease in societies. Needless to say, approximately all of

traditional

Add an article

the traditional

show examples

punishments

are aggressive and those offenders who have punished in

this

way actually when

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

release from prison they will return to

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

with

an excessive amounts

Correct the article-noun agreement

an excessive amount

excessive amounts

show examples

of anger. To summarize, learning

criminals

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many advantages despite classic

punishments

. I reckon that it will be more practical that we train lawbreakers

instead

of putting them in jail.

Submitted by nataly280480 on Wed Apr 28 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?
Due to state-of-the-art technologies, remote jobs have become prevalent in recent times. Some may argue this offers many advantages just to clerks rather than employers. I strongly disagree with the statement, and in my opinion, that method is beneficial for both sides.
7.5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is essential to take risks for people in their personal and professional lives. Although it has significant advantages, I think that it has its drawbacks too. This essay will discuss both sides.
6.5
band
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening Community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future. (500)
I would say a differentiating factor that sets me apart is my proven ability to actively seek, build, and maintain strong professional relationships within not only my local community, but with others across the world. Korea is highly homogenous where over 97% of the population is ethnically Korean. Realizing this, I actively pursued opportunities to enhance my exposure to multicultural environments. I applied for the Global Teacher’s University (GTU) program at my university and was selected as a successful candidate several times. When I was a sophomore, I was selected as a trainee for the University of Hawaii at Manoa. It was here where I began to network with others from different countries. I showed that I could offer value and a fresh perspective. However, more importantly, I showed that I truly cared and can connect on a deeper level. In my view, having compassion, empathy, and making a true effort to understand people’s perspectives and goals is critical to strong profession...
5.5
band
Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.
From the begining of human existence family always was the centre of gathering during different times of the year. Considering nowadays life, fewer people tend to have children, and if there is a child they will probably be raised by their grandparents due to several factors which we will discuss in the following paragraghs.
6
band
In many countries, children are engaged paid in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong. while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. discuss both these views and give your opinion.
It is an irrefutable fact that, in this modernized era, numerous children are doing paid work in different fields including restaurants, cafes or more. However, some masses consider that it is a completely wrong trend for the development of the children while others are saying it is a huge benefit to the youngsters. I staunchly believe that paid work is harmful for the upcoming growth of children.

Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

In many countries, children are engaged paid in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong. while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. discuss both these views and give your opinion.