Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree with this?
Being the closest surrounding for the
children
, families
affect their growth. However
, external factors from outside of the house also
have a greater influence
on them. Parents
and siblings influence
the children’s
growth more significantly because children
spend most of the time with them and earliest education were
provided by them, but there Change the verb form
was
are
Change the verb form
is
also
some external impact from outside
Add an article
the outside
neighborhood
.
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
Parents
and siblings could affect children’s
development more significantly because
various reasons. Add the preposition
ofbecause
Firstly
, children
spend most of the time with their families
at home
from they were babies. This
makes children
tend to imitate their families
behavior
at Change the spelling
behaviour
home
. This
is the reason why the psychologist advise
the Change the verb form
advises
parents
to be careful at their doings in front of their children
such
as not to get angry easily or talk outloud
Correct your spelling
out loud
each
other in front of the Change preposition
to each
children
. Secondly
, parents
are the first
the teacher in every children’s
life. In fact, from the first
word, or language the babies learned until good manner and socializing skills are learned from their parents
.
On the other hand
, some external factors might hold some levels of influence
too. Internet that is
accessed through smartphone or computer, provide Correct quantifier usage
much
many
information Correct your spelling
any
that is
absorbed by the children
and sometimes interesting materials from the internet could make children’s
surf the sites all day. Even online games could demotivate children
to study at home
. Other than that, friends at school or around Add an article
the neighborhood
neighborhood
might Change the spelling
neighbourhood
also
change the children’s
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
For example
, if when their friends invite them to skip the class, then
they could really do that eventhough
it is forbidden by their Correct your spelling
even though
parents
at home
.
In conclusion, eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
families
has
a significant Change the verb form
have
influence
on the
Correct article usage
apply
children’s
development, it can not be denied that external factors might affect them too. I think it is parent’s
responsibility to educate the Correct article usage
the parent’s
children
and supervise them wisely so that the children
would listen more to their families
.Submitted by Alexander on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?