Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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Today, celebrities are more popular for their financial state and stylish lifestyle than for their professional awards and achievements.

Such

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a tendency negatively affects young people. I absolutely agree with

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as the excessive demonstration of wealth and focusing only on materialistic things can raise selfish generations without values and principles.

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of all, boasting being a wrong pattern of behaviour is continuously shown by the media misleading many fans of young age around the world.

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, youngsters start to think that

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behaviour is a direct way to success and popularity among peers. Not only is it dangerous but

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it sets the wrong mindset that hard work and high achievements in any sphere are not necessary.

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, some popular bloggers from the internet claim that it is easy to become successful and financially independent without any efforts. A lot of teenagers are not aware of the fact that every famous blogger has a big team responsible for the content and marketing.

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, it is quite controversial that materialistic values are the most important ones and everyone should strive for them.

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, spiritual development is as important as physical and materialistic ones. Without solid values and principles, people are likely to be disoriented in

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fast-moving world as one trend can be easily substituted by another.

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, the idea that money and popularity are tightly connected is detrimental, especially for young unformed minds. A prime example would be young singers. Some of them are known to be scandalous, while others take drugs because wealth and glamour changed their perception in a negative way. In conclusion, I firmly believe that seeking wealth and glamour rather than high results is detrimental to young generations. I would recommend ignoring a wealthy lifestyle actively advertised by the media.

Submitted by Khan on Wed Apr 28 2021

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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