Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that participation in extra-curricular events is indispensable to

students

who study full-time in tertiary education. I believe

this

phenomenon prepare undergraduate scholars better for future challenges. Club activities are the most popular for university attendees

besides

their major subjects.

First

and foremost, societies create an environment for like-minded youngsters to work as a team towards their mutual goal.

This

entails continuous discussion and communication and

further

horn their interpersonal skills which are practical in later life. Social service clubs,

for example

, the experiences of striving on manpower and aid funds to lead a successful project are prominent training other than (

besides

) academic study.

Furthermore

, the connection built on common interests outside academic competition

last

longer and become an asset for young adults.

Consequently

, friendship and pastime provide an outlet for the distress of full-time studying and improve college

students

' well-being.

On the other hand

, joining part-time work related to future career offer profound advantages to undergraduates.

Students

in business school especially, earn not only income but

also

future connection towards employment and chances to an in-depth understanding of

specific

Add an article

the specific

show examples

industry. Taking my personal experiences,

for instance

, working at one of the big four accounting firms during summer and winter breaks, dispelled the glamorous of elite auditors but hard-working and detail-focused professional life.

This

also

results in the recognition of my working performance and leads to employment after graduation. In conclusion, tertiary

students

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

from other activities from various perspectives.

Therefore

, educators should provide an open atmosphere

Change preposition

show examples

campus and foster youngster to a wider range of lifestyles.

Submitted by cuteyedda on Wed Apr 28 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The internet means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In companies promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiding what to atextent do you agree or disagree

Obesity has become bigger and more global problem. What is the cause of this? and what solution can be taken to tackle these problems?

Recently there has been an increase in the number of families where both the husband and wife work. However, women should work less than men in order to take care of their children and do housework. To what extent do you agree or disagree?