IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

One good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sports
Use synonyms
 is one of the primary need for every nation in order to they are conducting international games shows. Many people argue that global physical events
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best route to stimulate global will be calmness. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
this
Linking Words
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best idea for all
countries
Use synonyms
avoid
Fix the infinitive
to avoid
show examples
 antipathy to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 in order to
this
Linking Words
 will make friendliness
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 each
country
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many reasons to accept
this
Linking Words
 trend because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the super way to support
within
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
Use synonyms
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, international physical recreation can make friendliness with other
country
Use synonyms
 government as well as people. The
sports
Use synonyms
 host
country
Use synonyms
 will invite to all around the
world
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they ignore unwanted
voilation
Correct your spelling
violation
 within the
countries
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 types of games are conducted more.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see some
countries
Use synonyms
 are
inviteted
Correct your spelling
invited
 to neighbour
country
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 for their
country
Use synonyms
 visiting as well as
sports
Use synonyms
 playing
this
Linking Words
 means friendly
competitation
Correct your spelling
competition
.
For example
Linking Words
, the international cricket club is organised every five years once in
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
a world
show examples
 cup match while some
country
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 will participate and collaborate with other
country
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 in order to make friendliness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, international
sports
Use synonyms
 is the best way to stop any offence
are happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
 person are being one of the
compromise
Change the verb form
compromised
show examples
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 of
avoid
Change the verb form
avoiding
show examples
 any
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 all
countries
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
foot ball
Correct your spelling
football
show examples
 player who Ronaldo mercy. He is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best player
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the
world
Use synonyms
. he has huge fans following not only his own
country
Use synonyms
 fans but
also
Linking Words
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 parts of the
world
Use synonyms
 fans too. To conclude, irrefutably international
sports
Use synonyms
 function can get peace in
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
crating
Correct your spelling
creating
show examples
 good contact
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 each
country
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is the best way to encourage and support
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 each
country
Use synonyms
. I personally support
this
Linking Words
 positive trend because we would like to live in a lack of
troble
Correct your spelling
trouble
world
Use synonyms
 so we should respect and love each
ecountry
Correct your spelling
country
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: