IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

#people #punishments #type #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people reckon that we should consider equal punishments for each kind of
crime
 and I think it is not logical to
be agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
 idea. In
this
passage
Add a comma
,passage
show examples
 we will discuss
this
 view in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
suit
Correct article usage
the suit
show examples
 approach. Some people may believe that punishing criminals equally and without considering their crimes can be an appropriate approach to deal with offenders. Let's imagine we have faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two criminals in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
court;
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 person has charged with murder and the
second
 one has charged with
drunk-driving
Correct your spelling
drunk driving
show examples
. Should we execute both offenders? Or putting them
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 prison for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
? Absolutely neither.
Therefore
, if we think logically, we will easily found that crimes must be categorized and a judge should judge lawbreakers according to their
crime
.
On the other hand
, imagine a country
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 there is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same punishment for every offender and lawbreaker. In my opinion,
this
 idea is versus justice obviously; needless to say, in a country as mentioned above there is no necessity for some occupations to exist and people who were judge or lawyer or had same vocations would be
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 and probably they will wash dishes in their houses! So, let me
be disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
 opinion. In conclusion, dealing with criminals with fixed punishments for each kind of
crime
 will not a useful approach and
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 we should consider their
crime
 and
then
 we will be able to sentence them to the suit punishment.
Thus
, briefly, I reckon that considering equal punishments for every offender is versus justice actually.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: