IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #teachers #children’s #behaviour #think #children
Children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the buds of every nation.
Childhood
Correct article usage
The childhood
show examples
period
 is the best part of
human
Add an article
the human
a human
show examples
 entire life and we can not replace
again
Correct pronoun usage
it again
show examples
.
However
, a fair amount of
parents
 and teacher think that child
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 should be strictly
monite
Correct your spelling
monitored
monitor
.
Nevertheless
, some person
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that
children
 should be free to behave. I will discuss both views points and
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would give my stand.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons to toddler
behaviour
 must be controlled.
firstly
, kids are not a
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
 person like
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
 so we should control their each and every
behaviour
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they do not know how to behave in front of elders as well as
strange
Add an article
a strange
show examples
 person.
Secondly
,
childhood
Correct article usage
the childhood
show examples
period
 only learn and follow good action and
behaviour
otherwise
 they never change their good attitude due to they used to.
Thirdly
, teachers and
parents
 are taught to best
characterstics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
 for their child along with always check too.
For instance
,
accroding
Correct your spelling
according
 to the survey said that more than 75% of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 has
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 attitude since their childhood
period
 after
grown-up
Correct your spelling
grown up
show examples
 they never do any misleading action because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
parents
 and teachers were been strictly supervising.
Although
,
children
 are like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free bird so we do not put into
cage
Add an article
a cage
show examples
 by strictly controlled. we can allow to their attitude whether good or bad because they can learn from
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
mistake
Add an article
a mistake
show examples
.
Parents
are give
Change the verb form
are given
are giving
show examples
 freedom to their rectify mistake from themselves.
Moreover
,
this
 age part never come again because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 is a golden
period
 of time so we could grant to
children
 without any
restiction
Correct your spelling
restriction
 to behave. To conclude, undoubtedly
children
behaviour
 should be supervised when they will be matured
man
Add the comma(s)
,man
show examples
. Other side kids are
easily
Replace the adverb
easy
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
behaved without any restriction.
However
, in my opinion about
this
 statement babies are behaved without any hindrance. Because they should modify their
behaviour
 and
chracter
Correct your spelling
character
 to themselves when they will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 adult.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: