multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?

Today a large number of
people
with various lifestyles live and work with each other. But in the meantime, whether
such
communities
are more advantageous or not has become a highly debatable topic. In my opinion,
this
type of community brings more benefits to
people
in comparison with other
communities
. To start with, having many different
cultures
in one society brings more ideas and viewpoints which could help
people
to understand the world better.
Therefore
,
people
from different
cultures
bring more creativity to society in many aspects. A good illustration for
this
is Canada which has so many different
cultures
that have made their culture rich.
Although
there are different
people
from different
cultures
, they have many festivals to celebrate together and share their
cultures
.
Moreover
, immigrants
as well as their families
Add the comma(s)
, as well as their families,
show examples
have a great contribution to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
especially
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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industry.
On the other hand
, there are some arguments that
such
communities
suffer from conflicts that have been made by immigrants who have moved from all over the world. The main reason for
this
is that
people
may not understand each other very well
thus
, it could cause some misunderstandings. In spite of the fact that
such
arguments have been made,
further
analyses prove that
such
multi-cultural countries like Canada have lower criminal records than other countries. To sum up, having considered all
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
show examples
arguments, even though some
people
argue that
communities
with a wide variety of
cultures
have some drawbacks, I do believe that
such
communities
bring more benefits for
people
overall.
Submitted by amiralzde on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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