Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people

It is argued by some that assisting poor families or poor individuals is a highly important fact about being a wealthy person.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement, mainly due to the fact that helping others can bring

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

and joy to

life

and

also

because it can save the future of poor

children

Firstly

, rich individuals who use their money in order to help others may live more happily compared to those who do not.

This

is because having large

amonuts

Correct your spelling

amounts

of money can turn one’s

life

to be more easy and comfortable, but it does not necessarily provide happiness.

However

, a rich person that helped a family who lived in poverty and

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

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apply

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positive feedback from them, may feel more

peacfull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

with himself.

For example

, studies have shown that among the wealthy population, those who contribute to poor people on a regular basis, tend to be less depressed.

Furthermore

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apply

show examples

financial support to

children

from a low socio-economic status can save their future.

In other words

, youngsters that grow up in poverty, have a smaller chance to pursue an academic career and to have a stable

life

, as opposed to rich

children

therefore

, poor

children

that receive help from wealthy individuals may be granted

with

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apply

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the same chances to

successed

Correct your spelling

succeed

later in

life

For instance

, in my country, the proportion of university students from low socio-economic families have increased significantly since a project of wealthy persons that contributed money to

this

sector had been initiated. In conclusion, I strongly believe that helping the poorer and weaker parts of the population is

Correct your spelling

crucially

crucial

crucialy

Correct article usage

a crucialy

show examples

important feature of being rich, due to the positive feeling it can bring and the fact it can assist the future of weaker

children

Submitted by nimrod.dar on Sat May 01 2021

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
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Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

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Topic: As well as, making money, business also have social responsibilities.

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