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Band 5.5

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
Universities are
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
. But I would like to talk about rich
people
 and poor
people
 find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accessibility
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
university
 difficult.
Furthermore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 m partially agree with
this
 statement. Because
university
study
 is very tough.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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this
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will mention
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the following paragraphs.
First
 of all,
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
 is very necessary for everyone like as, poor
people
 and rich
people
.
Moreover
,
university
study
 is very hard.But it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brainpower. Sometimes poor
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very intelligent than rich
people
. So
university
study
 is not discrimination with any
people
. With help of
university
study
Add a comma
,study
show examples
people
 can get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 destination. So it is very essential for both.
Second
 of all, rich
people
 doing
corruption
Replace the word
corrupt
show examples
. Because it is not good very poor
people
.
Furthermore
, poor
people
 do not get easily admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
.
However
, poor
people
 can not afford
university
 fees. As well as it
also
weak
Add an article
the weak
a weak
show examples
 point of poor
people
. So it is very tough for them. Nowadays poor
people
 become poorer and rich become richer.
Furthermore
, rich
people
 exploit the poor
people
 in the
university
.So
university
 should make strict rules
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both. As well as
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 is not interested in corruption.With the help of
study
 poor
people
 can get
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 destination,
for instance
, accountant,engineer,and manger, To summarise,So
university
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role for both rich and poor.
Furthermore
,
university
study
 is very necessary for everyone.Because
people
 can get good jobs in every field. As well as with the help of
study
 poor
people
 earn the good money.
Submitted by kuldeepmalaudh on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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