IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person’s #health #responsibility #government’s
Health
 is wealth. A
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 public can only create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy nation irrefutably and it is often argued
this
 question in many
debate
Change to a plural noun
debates
show examples
 whether a person, the government who is the most responsible for a public strength. I strongly agree with
this
 statement because people have more
resonsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own
health
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 compare
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the ministry. On the one hand, there are many reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
show examples
 should have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own
health
 compare to administration.
First
,
Correct your spelling
ruling
rulling
Correct article usage
the rulling
show examples
 party can not focus
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 and every person well-being and it is not possible
too
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
. The population can only create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more attention
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their good
health
 condition
such
 as regularly does medical checkup and strictly follow the top brass
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
illeness
Correct your spelling
illness
.
Secondly
, each family members have to take proper
nutician
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 foods and accurate regular
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
 they can live without any troubles
health
-related.
Thirdly
, the authority people should do their proper responsibility about a woman good kilter when any catastrophe diseases will spread heavily.
For example
, in the pandemic
suituation
Correct your spelling
situation
, the
rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
 party is focused
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own country the
folks
Change to a genitive case
folk's
folks'
show examples
 fine fettle
such
 as they are created the
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
 and provides free vaccine, take
a steps
Correct the article-noun agreement
a step
steps
show examples
 of spreading
virus
Add an article
the virus
show examples
.
On the other hand
, a man
is represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the family so each guy good shape is
Add an article
a
the
show examples
most significant factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good society because a good trim nation is being calculated how their
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 community
health
 condition-based.
Moreover
, many human
being
Change to a plural noun
beings
show examples
 said that we are paid tax to the government so they are the victim
this
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 acceptable statement but the directorate is
service
Correct article usage
a service
show examples
 for all mankind not a single man and they do not have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rights to do
concenration
Correct your spelling
concentration
 about a public.
For instance
,
accroding
Correct your spelling
according
 to the survey said that 60% of society are being
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
 because they do not care and maintain about their healthiness. To conclude, folks are being thought to live more years without any infection while they must be
focus
Add an article
a focus
the focus
show examples
 on their own physical condition and we do not blame
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 to do
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 us.
This
 means my
personally
Change the adverb
personal
show examples
 opinion about a human should be more
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about their own body compare than the leadership.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal accountability
  • health outcomes
  • public health campaigns
  • regulations
  • healthcare services
  • environmental quality
  • socio-economic factors
  • governmental intervention
  • healthy living
  • informed health decisions
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