IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #adults #education #class #self-study #study
Nowadays,
people
 argue that studying outside of the class by themselves is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 productive
way
 of being educated for middle-aged
people
. I personally believe that the importance of studying in class is very incremental
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
adults
 follow a structured
self-study
 program.
Firstly
, many
people
 neglect to organize their
schedule
 to be successful in their studies, so that they turn to organizations
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 offer them
detailed
Add an article
the detailed
show examples
 curriculum.
However
, if
adults
 spare some time on researching the content and consulting with experienced graduates, they can professionally create a
schedule
 addressing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their abilities and availability. In
this
way
, they can work on their problems by themselves, as they are the only one who is aware of their insufficiencies.
For instance
,
adults
 who prepare for their qualification exams as a requirement of their job description, tend to be more successful when they take a
self-study
 phase on the preparation period and organize a detailed syllabus typical for them.
People
 can be even more effective when they find a study-mate for self-preparation.
Secondly
,
self-study
Correct article usage
the self-study
show examples
 preparation period is more flexible and budget-friendly for
adults
. Since they don’t need to follow a
schedule
 other
people
 produced for them, they can easily make changes in their timetable as long as it doesn’t lead to procrastination.
Additionally
, to increase the responsibility and motivation
people
 can ask an experienced friend to be a mentor and guide them during their journey. Above all, they can spend money on needed books or online courses,
instead
 of being charged fortunes by tutors. To sum up, I concur that
self-study
 is an effective
way
 of learning, if proper measurements are made
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in
this
way
people
 are more likely to have a flexible
schedule
 to address their own needs.
Submitted by banucicekqurbanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: