IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
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Nowadays, getting very common that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
problems
Use synonyms
 grow rapidly and uncontrollably.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
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 it is difficult to overcome them. In my opinion, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not neglect their
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
 issues but start offering support to those who struggle,
Linking Words
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 encouraging them to move to
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
show examples
 area.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is highly likely that
problems
Use synonyms
 will never disappear after moving a place. To tackle unsolved, the
government
Use synonyms
 ought to create support groups or centres, where
people
Use synonyms
 will be able to access
an advice
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
 from
specialist
Add an article
a specialist
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 way of solving the appearing
problems
Use synonyms
 will definitely bring
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 results and can find an origin of them too.
However
Linking Words
, cooperation and patience from an individual
is
Change the verb form
are
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 necessary to see
further
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 results. They
also
Linking Words
 must be honest and not hide anything because may not bring expected effects.
Secondly
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, we should
start
Add the particle
tostart
show examples
 focus on
people
Use synonyms
 before they get to the point, where they cannot see any escape from
situation
Add an article
the situation
a situation
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. Surprisingly,
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 health problem is still a taboo topic.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 need
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
 an action to familiarize
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 with
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 who struggle and are afraid to ask for help. We all know
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 better to prevent than treat.
In addition
Linking Words
, the media have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 power to start a campaign, which may result in an improvement
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 field. To summarize, leaving
problems
Use synonyms
 behind will never help
people
Use synonyms
 to fight for
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and start a new episode in their life. Hiding in
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
show examples
 town will not make anybody stronger as well. The
government
Use synonyms
 decisions must be more adequate in the best interest of each individual.
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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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