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Writing Samples
Band 6

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

#cell #phones #century #purposes #phone
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In
this
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 contemporary era, the advancement of technology kept increasing,
besides
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, the masses need to keep up with it. All over the nation, the uses of
cell
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phones
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 are tremendously increased not only for calling purposes but
also
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, there are many other grounds including benefits apart from it.
This
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 essay will substantiate the advantages and disadvantages of mobile
phones
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 in the following paragraph with relevant examples. The mobile
phone
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 plays a vital role in individual
life
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 it becomes an essential part of human's
life
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. There are numerous reasons that through advanced technology individuals come closer to
cell
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phones
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. Despite the fact, that technology has some drawback
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 with
cell
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phone
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 users.
For example
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, excessive uses of
phones
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 could cause more harm to human’s health like poor eyesight, mental stress, uneven sleep patterns because of the blue rase that coming through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell
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phones
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.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 started living along they started loving their own company and make a distance from family members. When
people
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 got spare
time
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instead
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 of going out hangout with friends, they started sitting in
room
Add an article
a room
the room
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 by snacking
social
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on social
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 feeds, updates or by watching movies. On the one hand, it is not neglectable the fact that mobiles made human
life
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 much
more
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apply
show examples
easier, quicker and smoother.
Firstly
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, it helps us
with
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apply
show examples
keep
Change the form of the verb
keeping
show examples
 up with current trends. In
this
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 hustle and bustle
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life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
people
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 would not have enough
time
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 to watch television or read newspapers but they use their
phones
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 oftentimes.
Nevertheless
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, there
are
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is
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 some outstanding application that gives us enough information about day to day
life
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 like, news apps, health apps, or online newspaper, blogs, articles you name it., not only these apps help us to keep updated but
also
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 save our
time
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 as well as money to putting out for health classes or buying newspapers.
On the other hand
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, every mobile
phone
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a unique feature
that is
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 google
time
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 it helps
people
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 to keep remember dates, meetings, important
appoinments
Correct your spelling
appointments
 and so on.
In addition
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, it
also
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 saves
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
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 huge money to spending on calling overseas. As we know in the past
people
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 used to send letters and those took many days, some times could be months to reach.
However
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, now because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
phone
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 calls or video calls made our
life
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 much easier masses could see everything or take an update to their family members who are living in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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 land by video calling. To conclude, considering above mentioned points, it is evident that,
people
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 carry a whole world in a small gadget in their pocket. In my opinion, the mobiles that we use have many merits as compare to demerits.
Hence
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, the mobile is not only used for calling purposes but
also
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 has countless advantages.
Submitted by ankitacommon on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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